THE LIFESTYLE ENTREPRENEUR

Read time - 4 minutes

The Holiday Survival Guide

I’ve had a large number of friends tell me a similar theme related to Thanksgiving, something like this:

“We have a ton of family drama so thanksgiving is going to be a shit show”

That’s a generalization, but seriously I’ve heard some variation of holiday anxiety from many people this year.

Perhaps it’s the age my friends are in - where we’re now the organizers and leaders in our families - which is super weird to transition into.

I think it’s also due to the state of the world and the fact that we’re a year out from the COVID pandemic - which wreaked havoc on our collective physical and mental health.

Put simply - I believe that in general we’re less mentally and physically healthy than we were before COVID.

Which translates to:

• Pre-COVID - Thanksgiving requires everyone dealing with that one drunk uncle who embarrasses everyone.

• Post-Covid - Multiple extended family members haven’t been talking to eachother so they’re not coming, we don’t even know what’s going on with uncle billy, I’m really worried about what’s going to happen when frank and diane get in a room together.

These generalization doesn’t even get into the pain of those who have lost loved ones, who are estranged from their families, or don’t have family to speak of.

Put simply - the holidays are tough. I used to think for just some people, but now I’m starting to think - for all people.

As a reader of mine you’re in luck - because tough situations is one of my specialties. I have a knack for encountering them, and also a nose for working through them.

So without further ado, here’s my First Annual Holiday Survival Guide.

I’ll try to be brief (I’m a new writer, and brevity is a skill I’m working on), here’s the outline:

• Physical preparation

• Mental preparation

• Relationship preparation

• Helping others

Physical preparation

Thanksgiving isn’t just one meal - it’s an extended deviation from our normal routines, often with forced gatherings built around food and alcohol. The sweet spot of success lies in enjoying most of the great parts of the meals and gathering, while minimizing the damage and removing some of the unnecessary parts.

Workouts - The rule here is move as much as possible and avoid sitting as much as possible:

1. Workout every day - you don’t have to go to the gym, but get something in. My “go-to, I can’t think of anything creative” workout is 5-10 rounds of 10 pushups and 20 air squats. That workout can challenge anyone and be done in 10 minutes.

2. Get a big workout in on Thanksgiving - a family 5k, everyone go to CrossFit. Getting a big workout in on the big day creates a psychological benefit in addition to the physical benefit - you feel like you earned your food and can enjoy it even more.

3. Go on walks - there’s lots of downtime during the holidays. And most people can walk. Instead of sitting in front of a TV with everyone - go on multiple walks. Especially after meals. Walking regulates our systems and our minds, and gives the bonus benefit of making conversation and connection easier.

4. Move - Seek to sit as little as possible. Go outside and do active stuff. You’ll connect with family and friends better, have more fun, and feel better.

Sleep - Sleep is the ultimate mood and performance regulator, but is very difficult to get consistently during the holidays. There are almost infinite tools, but my biggest recommendation over the holidays is to try to get up at the same time every day.

My reasoning for that - Our routines get turned upside down during the holidays, and they’re also often extremely busy. Sleeping in just to be rushed and have the anxiety of a massive to-do list isn’t worth the extra sleep during the holidays, and if you stick to a consistent wake-up time it’ll drive some positive evening behavior.

Nutrition - This can be as complex as you want to make it, here’s my super-simple guidelines for holiday nutrition:

1. Hydrate - Even more important than during normal days, drinking half your bodyweight per day in ounces will help tremendously here.

2. Drop all the carbs you can - You want to enjoy the holiday specific carbs - desserts, stuffing, mashed potatoes, etc. To keep things somewhat balanced - drop carbs everywhere else:

   1. Don’t drink soda

   2. Stick to protein & fat for breakfast and other meals

   3. Skip breakfast pastries

   4. Drink the lowest sugar alcohol (like tequila)

3. Eat for variety, not volume - Eat all the things you want. The holidays are not the place to avoid foods you love. Lean towards variety though and try to limit the volume of each thing.

Drugs - Every family is different, but a large percentage of American Thanksgivings involve binge drinking, lots of weed, and/or many other mind-altering substances.

It’s hard to make specific drug recommendations because of how they affect people but here are a few of mine that are relevant to most people:

1. Follow the 1-2-3 rule of alcohol consumption - Which is:

   1. 1 hard stop per year (not relevant for this conversation)

   2. 2 drinks max per day

   3. No more than 3 days per week, and stop drinking 3 hours before bed

   I love this rule - it allows you to enjoy a few drinks and minimize the effect

   Pro tip - Have an accountability buddy who’s on the same alcohol journey as you

2. Weed is great, but limit it if it makes you antisocial - Weed is dramatically different for everyone. Heavy users do your thing, casual users this is for you:

   1. If you don’t know how weed gummies affect you - The 40 person Thanksgiving at grandmas is NOT the time to try a 10mg gummy.

   2. If you know how it affects you and it makes you sleepy and/or anti-social - save it for around bedtime

3. Psychedelics - I’m a huge fan of psychedelics, but they have their time and place:

   1. If your gathering is mostly drinkers - taking mushrooms will likely make the vibes completely off and less enjoyable

   2. Heavy dosing is generally not recommended for any social gathering

   3. Micro-dosing is likely your friend here - .25 grams of mushrooms is enough to a little mood boost without any risk of things turning south

Mental Preparation

A little mindfulness can go a long way during stressful times. Here are a few of my tools:

1. Find time to yourself - Even if it’s a few minutes, find moments to yourself to check-in and get grounded

2. Meditate - This is a great way to get time to yourself. A 5 minute meditation can entirely change the course of your day.

3. Breath - Deliberate breathing exercises can calm the nervous system and reset your energy.

   1. I love box-breathing - 4 second inhale, 4 second pause, 4 second exhale, 4 second pause, repeat as necessary.

4. Get into nature - See above for walks. Getting into nature during your walks and movement time. It grounds us and makes us feel the way we’re supposed to feel.

5. Play - Play games, sports, be silly. Do all these things with adults and children, the more the better.

Relationship prep

If you’re going to be forced into situations with strained relationships, some preparation beforehand can make a world of difference in your enjoyment.

1. Plan ahead and role play:

   1. Think through potential awkward situations from beginning to end

   2. Visualize how they can deteriorate

   3. Play out your response until you find responses you think will be appropriate

2. Have courageous conversations before the event:

   1. Forecast with the person you want to talk to them about some issues prior to seeing each eachother

   2. Schedule a time to talk

   3. Have a 1:1 conversation to clear the air

   Nothing needs to be resolved here - the simple act of being conscious about the issues affecting you will alleviate some tension

3. Choose to stay positive - Make a commitment to yourself to stay positive and set boundaries around where you’ll engage with people.

4. Plan your exits - Set clear guidelines with yourself regarding what will constitute you exiting a conversation or environment.

Service & helping others

Finding ways to help others is important, and also makes us feel good.

The standard recommendation to volunteer at a kitchen is always a good one.

One I’d like to specifically recommend is to think about our immediate community:

Who in your community is likely without family this week? If we think about it, I bet we all can think of one or two of those people.

Invite them over for thanksgiving.

I’ve done this multiple times, and it’s always a wonderful addition to the gathering. It helps people feel the warmth of family and community during a very difficult time.

The quick summary

Here’s a quick bulletpoint summary to remember the takeaways of the First Annual Holiday Survival Guide:

• Move as much as possible & workout every day

• Hydrate the shit out of yourself & drop all unessential carbs

• Limit your alcohol & drug intake

• Take time to calm your nervous system each day

• Rehearse and prepare for your challenging people situations

• Find someone who needs your help and help them

I absolutely love the holidays - and it’s tragic when I hear how many people have such a hard time during them.

Like everything in life - approaching them with some planning, discipline, and love, can make them so much better.

I wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving - I’m taking Baby Alex hunting with me for his first time this weekend - wish us luck!

Mike