THE LIFESTYLE ENTREPRENEUR

Read time - 4 minutes

The Importance of Play

In my first issue I laid out my main content pillars:

1. Health/Wellness

2. Mindset & habits

3. Building businesses

4. Community/relationships

5. Play & self expression

And in Issue #2, Issue #3, and Issue #4, and Issue #5, I laid out my history and philosophy on pillars 1-4.

Today I’m digging into my final content pillar - Play & self expression. Specifically - Play.

Why it’s important, why we lose it as children and never get it back (for most people), and how to develop it.

My history with play

My story is typical.

Reasonably normal childhood in American suburbia. Parents got divorced when I was in second grade. While I had a fun childhood, we lived with my mother who became a nurse.

She was often gone, working late nights and double shifts, leaving the four Jones boys to fend for themselves.

This forced me to grow up a bit faster than I would have liked. My older brothers ruled the roost - and I worked hard to act like them.

Nonetheless, it was still a pretty typical upbringing. Sports, video games, kick the can, beach trips.

My friends and I started drinking at age 15, and from that moment on, alcohol was the centerpiece of my social world.

Besides sports, all social activity from then on became centered around alcohol.

Through high school. Into college. And into young adulthood.

Anything “fun” I did involved alcohol.

And it was a ton of fun. This carried into my late 20s, when late nights drinking started to slow down. I was taking my career seriously, and 2 or 3 nights out a week reduced down to 1 a week.

And then when we had kids it reduced to rarely.

The problem was - I only knew one way to have fun. So when life forced me to remove nights out, I didn’t have an outlet.

The majority of my 30s ended up not being particularly enjoyable.

Work. Care for kids. Workout. Repeat.

I’d go out occasionally and have fun. But knowing how bad I’d feel made that even start losing it’s lustre.

To the point where I’d resigned myself to having fun.

This was my lot in life - until I was forced into figuring out how to have a social life again.

I separated from my wife, and found myself nights alone for the first time in over a decade.

I started dating - which is a different kind of fun.

And I explored. Finding new friends to spend time with. Doing different things.

I quit drinking for a year. Which was very challenging because I didn’t know how to socialize without alcohol.

I spent the next few years figuring out how to live life without my marriage, transitioning careers, and figuring out who I was socially.

I made some friends who I connected with on a deep level.

I found a social hobby that filled my cup. In my case - dancing at electronic music shows. A strange passion to pick up at 40, but it spoke to me in ways I had never experienced.

And I leaned into it.

I worked hard on myself. How to be present. How to have gratitude.

And I figured out how to have fun again. Without alcohol.

When I look back and think about how little fun I had. And whatever fun I had was watered down with booze, I realize learning how to play was probably the most important aspect to get my life on track.

Why is play important?

Play is an essential part of a fulfilled life.

We learn how to interact with the world through play. We learn how to socialize through play. We learn how to enjoy the moment through play.

But demands of the modern world force us to lose our ability to play as teenagers, and most of us never get it back.

Whether it’s further dampened by alcohol or not. Life doesn’t want us to play.

Finding it is important though.

It took drastic life changes for me to find my play again. I want to help people find their’s without such drastic events.

How to foster play again

We’re all unique, and what’s fun for me isn’t going to be fun for everyone. Because of that, in many ways, play is one of the most individualized prescriptions for people.

The simple answer is to experiment until you find the people, and activities, that set your soul free.

This alone can be extremely difficult because our schedules are so full, we don’t have space for ourselves.

That’s the first step - find space that you schedule for yourself.

Invite your partner or a friend or two.

Find an event. It doesn’t really matter what it is, it just needs to be something to allow you and your friends to break the ice.

Ideally there’s movement involved. Not a full-blown workout, but some kind of physical activity.

And go do it.

Ideally with minimal or no alcohol. That’s not an issue for everyone, but for me and most people I know, if alcohol is involved then you’re always going to reduce down to just standing there drinking.

The options are endless:

-Pickleball

-Dancing

-Golf

-Go carts

Honestly, what you do isn’t that important. What’s important is that you:

-Are doing something that’s fun and light

-With people you trust and enjoy

-Without distraction from the rest of the world

With consistency and effort, magic can be had.

I realize this writing may seem a bit wishy-washy. Especially for people who already play with friends regularly. But for those of you who don’t, this should strike a cord.

This is for those people who are grinding through each week, doing social activity but not feeling like they’re having much fun.

I know you’re out there - it’s hard to describe what you’re missing because you don’t know anything else.

I promise you - there’s more. You have to commit to doing things differently though.

You have to commit to exploring. Putting in some work even though you’re exhausted and just want to have a drink and catch up.

You have to do things, and try new things until you find something you absolutely love doing.

And you have to keep doing those things, even when you feel too busy.

I hope you find your play this weekend - I’ve got some planned for myself, and I’m committed to being fully present and as weird as possible.

Talk to you next week,

Mike